...And now I’d like to cash in whatever equity I may have with you to tell you what’s been happening with me in the prayer department lately. I’ve had the experience of descending with my mind into my heart. It happens with a sense of profound stillness inwardly. This experience has taken my prayer life to a new place, literally, I think or at least I wonder.

Some time ago this experience was accompanied by a sense of a visual landscape, as the eyes of my heart seemed to open. This was unusual for me because my imagination doesn’t tend toward visual images, but that’s been changing. So anyway. I find myself, in my minds eye, in a cave. The only light in the cave is from a fire like a campfire. Jesus is standing in the cave. I can see him with my minds eye. So I sit down next to him and together we simply look at the fire.

I wish I could describe the wonder or this. It was like the first time I can remember driving in the car with Nancy when we were first falling in love. We had that experience where we both knew it wasn’t important to “keep up the conversation” because we were both content to be in the other’s presence. It was like that only with Jesus, looking together at this fire in this cave.

And then I began to cry. Literally, or actually, or with saline tears falling down my face. I was just aware of myself as a sinner. Not any particular sin so much as the sin condition. I was one of those—a sinner. And I knew he knew. And he understood with me, that it really is a shame to be a sinner. It’s lousy state to be in. But he was regarding me, in my sin status, with sympathetic understanding. And with the most powerful and tender love. At that moment, I almost thought the angels would envy my sinner status to be able to experience the marvel of this love He has for sinners. So this went on for a while. He had his arm around me during this time.

Then I asked if I could remember some loved ones with him there and he nodded yes. So I named the loved ones—starting with my immediately family members, then extended family members, the church staff ad their family members if I knew them, and down the list. And with each person mentioned or remembered there with him, he would nod in recognition. It was like a couple of high school friends who are now 20 years out of school and get together for coffee after not seeing each other. How they remember mutual friends and reconnect through that process. It was like that only infinitely better than that.

At various points, he indicated things about the person I remembered before him. At one point, I told him about a family member of a friend of mine who was a single mom, had a daughter, and was now married. When I mentioned the daughter to him, he said, “And another one’s on the way.” And I thought, “this is a data point!” So I later checked with my friend who told me that yes his extended family member was pregnant and how did I know because it was brand new news—a long awaited pregnancy as the couple were having difficulty conceiving. This suggested to me that this experience of prayer was something more than “just in my imagination.” That, and one other thing.

I noticed after this time of prayer was over that I felt almost frightened by the depth of intimacy with Jesus. That was a sign of authenticity to me because I know that deeper intimacy can often provoke fear, because we fear intimacy even though we long for it. So the next time I prayed in this way (the next morning) I had to talk myself into surrendering again to Jesus—not to pull back, but to surrender, whatever he wanted.

http://aavineyard.annarborvineyard.org/Media/pdf/january232005.pdf